Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Memories of Grandma

Before writing this I need to just say that my grandma has not passed, that is not what has inspired me. Sometimes I feel like she has but she has not.

You see, my grandpa passed away about 14 years ago now. My grandma was remarried a few years later. I don’t blame her for getting remarried, not at all. In fact, I was very happy for her. The man seemed nice enough and she was happy. I loved seeing her happy again after going through such a rough patch after my grandpa passed.

Then things changed. My grandma and her new husband moved to North Carolina, I reside in Michigan. This makes things difficult. They moved November 4th, 2008. Natalie was born October 31st, 2008. My grandma got to see Natalie twice before moving away, she has seen her twice since one of those times being yesterday. She isn’t the same grandma I knew as a child and I wish Natalie knew her the way I did.

When I was young we would have sleep over’s and our grandparents every other weekend. We would just hang out and play and watch movies together. Grandma would let my sister and I do her hair. We would brush it and she would let us put pony tails in. Of course she never left the house this way but we thought it was so fun that she let us do what we wanted with her hair.

My Grandpa had a motorcycle and he would take us on rides all the time. It was only around the block and then it was my sister’s turn but those were some of the best days of my childhood; just me and grandpa with the wind in my face and my hair whipping all around. I could pretend then. I could pretend that there were no worries in the world and nothing else mattered. Even if the trips lasted mere minutes they were great.

Grandma would always make home cooked meals; which we didn’t always get at home because life was busy with two working parents. I remember grandma used to make the best goulash, I can’t tell you how she did it but nothing compared. After dinner there would always be a sweet treat waiting for us.

It was really amazing and I feel so blessed to have a grandma that used to be like that. She has really changed. It’s so hard to see her and not have her the way she used to be. She is cold, she still cares but you don’t see it or feel it like you used to. I know I have grown up and things change but I want her to be there with Natalie. I want Natalie to taste grandma’s goulash and brush grandma’s hair the way I did. That will never happen so I just have to cherish the memories because things will never be the same.


Breezy said...

*hug* I have nothing good to say about this subject, but I wanted to give you a hug.

Agnolas said...

Maybe a little heart to heart talk would help.. Aside the fact that she is living far from usual, she might be just living the moment of being in love again, or could be just waiting for you to ask her to help you out with Natalie. :)

Mindy said...

Oh, it's so difficult when things change in this way. Maybe you could send her a note and just share your special memories with her.
I am adding you to my post this morning to receive a blog award! :))